- "Artie Q writes Sophisticated Electronic Pop for US/Euro types"

Hollywood, 30 years ago; I’d gone to LA to take the music world by storm. With videos to accompany my original songs, no one really knew what to make of me. Along the way, however, I got involved in all kinds of entertainment, and then at last #TwentyF’inYearsLater, four of my songs got placed in a Hollywood movie. Finally, Finalement my tracks were being validated by music industry professionals—Yeehah, I’d arrived! So there I was living the life in LA … then I got the call from Dad.

“Think it’s time to come home, son.” Hmm …

It was 2008, and ‘home’ was in suburban South East London, a far cry from the magic of Hollywood. Dad was 86, Mother 91, living in the 2 storey family home they’d built nearly 50 years earlier, but now life was becoming just a little too much for them. (Or rather, Dad.) Though they wanted to end their days in their own home, it was clear to my father (body wise & mentally still fairly capable) the physical support Mother needed was becoming a little more than he could handle. And her state of health was ongoing in slow steady decline.

Since going to LA, I’d returned infrequently but on a somewhat regular basis to check on them, however somehow I kept putting out of mind their future/the inevitable, annnd it’d been about 5 years since my last visit. Yikes! Now, it appears, it was crunch time.

So, two options: Live-in-Care or “Rob!” As they really didn’t want a stranger living with them (and I gotta say, I’da felt a lil weird about that), the choice for me, albeit a massive inner struggle, was clear. I well remember the reasons for leaving the UK (I’ll go into that another time!), and America had given me my “creative wings to fly.” Soar, actually. I’d just started recording/producing/mixing and mastering my own songs. Two albums done and I was networking via my movie songs success; I was on a roll.

If I leave for the UK, can I still keep my newly found momentum & profile in LA going? And for how long? Hmm … Oh, Fuck it; let’s do it ’n see!

So, throwing “should I/shouldn’t I” inner turmoil to the wind, over the next two years I segued life incrementally from Hollywood to Chislehurst, Kent on the outskirts of London town. With the tying up of loose ends in LA (a couple of trips, coming & going) it allowed me a realistic overview of the state of affairs back home.

At this point, Mother had recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and was totally dependent on her husband; officially he was registered as her carer, providing crucial attendance when it came to meal times & bathroom routines. Though Dad himself was having prostate and other medical issues he was still able to perform all household chores, do the cooking, garden work (front & back), walk to the corner shop for the daily paper every morning, drive himself & mother to the local town for their weekly Monday morning Get-Outta-House, and once a week do the grocery shopping & any banking affairs. 

During the initial few years, I was most careful not to usurp his independent work lifestyle, but simply be of support should he need it; I wanted him to be as unsupervised for as long as possible. It also gave me a procedure to observe should he start to falter. In effect I started ‘Gryphon Life’ (the name of the house - Gryphon *) as his gopher; his go-to guy should he need an extra pair of hands for any sundry work around the place.

But all in all he was doing a great job, especially with the Big 9-0 on the horizon. And he was most open to any suggestion he might not be up to any task at hand.

“Take the keys away from me anytime, Rob, should you think I’m a danger on the roads.”

To his credit, he drove right up until his 94th birthday, 3 weeks before he died; and every single time he returned from driving solo, I’d go over that vehicle w a toothpick, a micro eye … Never, not once, ever, a single scratch! Amazing.

At first, Life with the Oldies yielded little in thoughtful observation, but as both Ma n Pa’s ailments increased bringing about a life I could never have imagined, all kinds of newly perceived life revelations (both humorous and melancholy) were brought to bear. I have to say the exchanges between Mother and myself became “head-shakingly” comical as her condition deteriorated, whereas with Dad as his health began to really decline in his last two years, he & I began to butt heads over the critical dietary & medical care needs of Mother.

In her day, Ma was a remarkably capable woman. Sargeant Pearl Averil Turner: Ambulance driver, Motorcycle dispatch rider during WWII, Staff car driver on occasion to The Man himself - Sir Winston Churchill! And after the war - Shorthand typist, ‘Meals on Wheels’ delivery driver, Dressmaker, Spirella corsetiere fitter, Leather coat-bag ’n key fob maker, Milliner, Homemaker, accomplished in many styles of cooking—“Nothing in this house, shop-bought, Rob” she’d say ... aaaah, so many things she could turn her hand to … but that was all Yesterday; and because my time with her at the end was lengthy, intimate & intense, my memories are more shaped by those final days. (Mother’s surname became Quinn when she married my father, Terence Quinn.)

It was now 2012, and though Dad was still on top of things, I had officially become his Carer. (US - Caregiver)

* Gryphon - “Get Rich Young, Pin Hopes On National” - National: the company Dad worked for when he realised his home owning dream

• Performance Artist: Artie Q's "Sometimes in the Rain" music video is 30 Years Old! Click the Pic below to View & Listen -